Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
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I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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