Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
