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so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
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