it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.