If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.