Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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