i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
