Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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