Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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