You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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