tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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