I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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