As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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