So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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