I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize