What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
ttyl tear gas
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
