If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize