I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
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Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
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That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?