...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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