therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.