Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
it hurts more in the daytime
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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