you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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