I think I am morally bankrupt
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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