He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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