How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
