I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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