I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
