I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
