i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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