i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink