Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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