Rock
Scissors
Fuck
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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