We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
