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my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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