PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
