I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
