Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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