explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
