I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize