You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize