I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
