But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything