Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.