Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
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Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
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I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.