Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.