I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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