I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
