well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.