I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.