Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
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he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
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I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.