if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I didn't notice because vodka
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.