Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations