Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"