I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.