Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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