We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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