The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
