I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
