Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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