and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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