just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Someone signed my nipple.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
