why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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